Yesterday was beautiful. It was one of those perfect days for me; cool, windy and the clouds were beautiful. I’m no poet, I’ll never be able to describe what I see and how it affects me in a way that you can understand. I thought the clouds kind of looked like the clouds in Toy Story actually. Do you know what I’m talking about?? 
On another note: the springtime depresses me every year. I hate admitting this because I know what you are thinking of me now! The ole cat’s out of the bag. I also hate sunny days. (GASP!) They are so depressing. I feel like I have to be cheerful or something. Anyways…
Sometimes when I watch the travel channel I want to cry. All of those great and beautiful places with so much history and culture that I’ll never be able to visit! I can hear my optimistic husband telling me that I might be able to go there someday and to have hope, but honestly, I think most of my vacations I’ll have in my life, the rare not-visiting-family or going-along-on-Ben’s-work-trip ones, will be skiing or visiting Katy in Florida. I’m not complaining about either of those, don’t misunderstand me, but there is a part of me that wants more… I wonder if that is the part of me that knows that this world isn’t it???
I want to go to exotic places and experience new things, and selfishly, not always on a mission trip. I want to be able to explore the places I visit, and find that one hole in the wall place with the greatest food in the town. Maybe this part of me is there because I’ve had a taste of other places. I’ve been to more countries than states in the US, and I want to re-experience places I’ve been now that I’m older. I dream of going back to Ukraine or Switzerland. I want to see the aqua blue waters and white shores of Greece. I want to walk the streets of Kharkov and see all the places we used to hang out. My heart years for beauty, sometimes I wonder “Is this it?” then I feel convicted. And kind of like a spoiled brat now that I’ve re-read what I’ve wrote of all the places I’ve been. I have had a lot of great experiences in my life, I’ve been a lot of great places, and I don’t want that part of my life to be over. I think thats what I’m trying to say. I think I’m still adjusting to being a “stay at home” mom and feel like my life is over in some ways, while I know it isn’t and love my new life and Summit… ahhh… I can’t put into words what I’m feeling!!! Like I said, I am no poet.