What is the ultimate in not being satisfied with what God gave you? Curling my hair. Yes, spending the time straighten my long, wild, curly hair, and then taking even MORE time to re-curl it to a more fashionable curl. I mean, what the heck- even I see the irony here but I love the way the “cool” curls look!! I curled my hair for the first time last night for Ben’s work party. I felt like a movie star. They had jello shots at the party and I’d never had one before. I felt very college-y, like I was at one of those rumored parties that I never got invited too! mwahahah! So the other thing that really made me feel young is the fact that I have them. I got ’em yesterday. The bottom half of the bane of my existence. Shallow Heidi indeed, I am obsessed with myself lately! I kind of see this as a fitting closure to my tumultuous year. I have a chew toy of sorts that the orthodontist gave me to chew on so I wouldn’t be tempted to buy a pack of gum. I went to sleep last night chewing on it and woke up with it plastered to my face. Nice. I’m in pain people. Physical, physiological, emotional… I want a giant band-aid for my life, to hold together my rapidly declining sense of who I am. Maybe that is the point- I’m not suppose to really know who I am because then I become complacent or some such self-involved thing where I never grow as a person. I want to grow, I want to change I want to be all I can be- GO ARMY! But it’s true. I don’t think we can grow as humans without the ole trial by fire. Painful, may need some skin grafts and all, but in the end, you become more beautiful. I want to be beautiful. Not just externally- ok ok, I’m still going to curl my hair!- but even more beautiful internally.
-
Kim
-
Kim