I read recently that your blog should reflect fully how you talk and act in person in order to be a place of authenticity. As much as I want to agree that mine is like that, I don’t feel like it is fully- my blog is a true reflection of what I say- but you can’t hear the inflection in my voice or see my facial expressions with dramatic arm gestures that lighten most of the heavy things that I talk about here. Just a thought!
Yesterday I drove home in a windy thunderstorm. The rain was pushed by the wind so hard that my front windshield was clear for a few minutes and I could see the rain in dark sheets coming down from the clouds ahead of me. It was a breathtaking moment as the sky danced with the earth, for a moment connected in a visual way I’d never seen. There is a perfect beauty in a terrible storm when you feel safe and dry where you are- a wonderful analogy of not just knowing Jesus, but resting in the security that he’s protecting you.
Seasons of rain.
I used to call the season we are still recently out of a drought that stretched out for an almost biblical 7 years but I now see it as a season of rain. We were soaked through in a steady storm, miserable and trudging through knee deep mud, unable to see very far any direction because of the gray downpour.
You see, I had felt parched and dry, visually seeing myself sometimes in a large, open valley with cracked, broken ground and an angry sky. The beauty of hindsight is now I see that I was in a long rainy season that when cleared, prepared me for rapid life change with that intense early spring green of new life from death and decay. I feel alive again.
I firmly believe that God allows us to have seasons in our life and without the changing seasons we wouldn’t be able to be truly thankful for today.
When I was in the season of rain I felt hopeless and depressed- I allowed myself to be ruled by how I felt. I know that a lot of people have the discipline to really control feelings but I’m a creative to the core and that is a challenge for me. However-
I love how I feel, think and the lens in which I view life, although cripplingly painful at times, I’m thankful and wouldn’t change it for anything.
While in that hard season I faced a lot- and to be honest, we in the Christian community don’t really know how to handle it when people around us aren’t parroting each other- when someone stands up and says something from a place of pain, the mentality is to slowly move away from them.
Did you know that it’s ok to say something different? Did you know it’s ok to express true feelings? Did you know it’s ok to question and doubt for a season?
As we grow up in our relationship with Christ, unresolved pain from our past comes back and as we work through it in healthy community we grow. We also need to be confident enough in our own faith that we can encourage others without fear or judgment by listening as they struggle. There are seasons for everyone and if we choose (as much as we can!) health and wellness even in times of pain we will be thankful.
If this is the place you are in, hang in there. My heart goes out to you! Embrace the season of rain, it will eventually pass and the after is worth it all.
This is one of my favorite Josh Garrels songs that God used to inspire me to write this post today.