my grandfather.
death hasn’t really touched my life- I know the rarity of having not really been affected by death other than pets is a rare luxury yet I feel completely unprepared for it now.
about 6 weeks ago, in an almost literary foreshadowing of hard things to come, I wrote a latin prayer on my white board at work:
REQUIEM aeternam dona ei eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat ei eis. Requiescat in pace.
Meaning to me [although it is more traditionally used at catholic funerals] a beautiful reminder about dying to self- may light shine on my face even as I die to self daily: it’s saying no to my own selfish desires and being able to love my family and people I come in contact with on a daily basis.
- My grandfather with my mom (left) and aunt (right).
My grandfather, Don Otting, was a larger than life character to me, he was a savvy business man who made his money in Texas oil. The youngest of 12 children he came from poverty to become a millionaire by his early 30’s and successfully traded stocks the rest of his life. He was fiercely independent.
My first real memories of them are in a giant RV in the middle of thousands of acres on a ranch in the hill country of Texas, as they built their mansion that later burned down. I loved going to feed the deer with my Grandad, I would hold a bucket of corn carefully between my knees and throw out handfulls as far as I could as we went from feeder to feeder, filling them for his exotic deer that hunters came from around the world to hunt on his private game ranch.
I never got how crazy that was, it was just normal and this was just my Grandfather and he was cooler than yours. Always. I always had the coolest Grandad of anyone I had ever heard of. I remember seeing him wrangling deer to send to auction and loved all the wild and crazy stories he had to share with us.
Later, when my sister and brother were big enough to go, we would crowd in the front seat, throwing handfulls over each other and spilling the corn. I remember how he would explain what kind of deer each one was that crossed our path, giving it’s country of origin and distinguishing characteristics. He was so patient with us.
I could go on and on about all the amazing memories I have working with him at his ranch the weeks we spent there a year. It really was a special privilege to get to have growing up.
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The last time we were there he seemed like himself, but slower. His eyes showed an alertness and he was intentional with almost interaction he had with my kids. I loved watching him watch the boys run around, he was fascinated.
He passed early this morning and I’m left feeling relieved he’s out of pain but with a sense of shock he’s gone. I wish I had more to say today on him but I don’t, I’m tired and sad. I’ll always be thankful to the man who was my Grandfather and I’m grateful that we had such a long time with him.
ETERNAL rest grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen.