I’ve been sick for like 2 weeks. First it was the sinus infection thing, then Sum got me sick with some bug where I was heaving the contents of my stomach in a most painful manner. I think I got sick because my immune system was down because I was sad about the house. Once again, I let myself get pulled down by an inanimate object. It’s one thing to let people and situations make you sick… wait… that’s not right either… but I’m going to assume you get my drift.
Disappointment. It’s the name of the game. Or whatever, that totally doesn’t make sense but it’s what it flowing from my recently restored mental – Oh my my- I had a word to put there and it’s GONE. I’m not kidding. So, yeah, my mental whatever is obviously NOT back at all. How humbling. I’m just going to get to some updates now that may or may not be TMI. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
– I’ve decided not to shave my legs until I get a new house. I’m protesting… something. I’m protesting the lack of place to do it actually. I counted the tiles in my shower, there are 10 and a little sliver of another one. That is 10 TWO inch tiles. Yeah. So, if my horrible math skillz don’t deceive me, (I got over 30 on the ACT on math comprehension, but only a freaking 19 on the application part- WTHeck,) That would be less than 2 feet either direction. Hold you arms out. I can’t do that in my shower. Now pretend to shave. Need I say more? AND I HAVE A PREGGO BELLY that doesn’t help. Stop judging my hairy legs!
– I can’t find my eye-makeup remover stuff so I look like a raccoon. Not a cute, smokey eyed, pop diva raccoon look alike, more like a strung out crack whore after work. (Sorry about that, but the BIBLE uses the word whore so you can’t be offended at me Bible-belters!) I haven’t worn much make up the last few weeks being that I was so sick and all, so apparently in that time frame I’ve lost the remover. I’ve been trying to wipe all the smears back under my eyes in a more orderly fashion hoping to save some time tomorrow getting dressed before baby book worm at the library. I mean, sort of saving time. I’m going to have to probably wear eye liner again so the smears aren’t so apparent, but I’m not planning on going anywhere really Saturday so I can look super raccoon eyed that day, no worries.
-I either have a huge, painful zit on my back or I’ve been bitten by a deadly spider that is making me write this post, so it’s totally not my fault in that case because the poison has affected my thinking.
– If you are one of the many people that complain that I never write on your blog, comment here now so I’ll just have a quick link to go to there and comment. Or just comment and I’ll comment back, just to be on the safe side of things assuming that you really WANT me to comment on your blog, but that’s not WHY you commented on this one in particular, and you almost didn’t comment on this blog because I wrote all this out and now you are paranoid at how you may come across all needy and stuff and that is OK. I’m cool with needy. Obviously. Because this whole paragraph is about how I really want comments here on my blog because it’s lonely and stuff being that I ignore it all the time and am mean to it so you in turn ignore it too and HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME RAMBLE ON JUST COMMENT DANGIT!
– I’m potty training Sum. I mean, for REAL this time. Cotton undies, none of that pull-ups nonsense… I’m going HARD CORE. (bets on how long this will last???)
-Ben is looking at house plans to build. (yes, you just saw me point an invisible gun to my head and pull the trigger. Then correct myself saying how it’s not good to pretend to commit suicide ever, especially when you are pregnant. It just seems worse some how. stop doing it!)
– By me saying that I’m potty training Sum, I really meant I potty trained him TODAY. I’ve only been at this one day. Today. and it was OK. He totally pooped in the toilet like 4 or 5 times… which is weird now that I think about it because he usually only goes once… maybe twice. What gives? So, before I realized that weirdness, I was going to finish saying that he only peed on himself once, and that is including riding in the car, eating out with some friends and going on an errand. So my kid rocks. Period.
-When I was pregnant with Sum, I totally bought all this “belly butter” which sounds gross, but it’s actually like a stretch mark prevention cream, and it DIDN’T work at all. I have stretch marks from my boobs to my knees. For realsies. I haven’t even thought of buying any prevention stuff for this baby. Which is a boy. Have I mentioned that? I’m having another boy! YAY! I’d have been happy with a girl, but there is something special about little boys. So, yeah, this poor little boy is NOT getting enough protein either. I can’t seem to eat the stuff. Eeeech. I did everything all natural with Sum and have ate my weight so far at McDonald’s with this one. Speaking of weight however… I’ve only gained like 7 lbs so far. Say WHAT? I know. I gained 60 with Sum, but I guess with that extra 10-15 lbs hanging on, my body hasn’t seen the need to bulk up. So that’s cool.
– I’m totally going to start working out too. Yeah. I have to. I can feel my flabby body begging for a little toning. I don’t see how I’ve lost weight in my sides and hips with how I’ve been eating, but the way I look isn’t reflective of how I’m eating. For the first time in my life. It’s weird.
-I think I have a second degree burn on my legs from the lap top sitting on me. Geez. It’s like the whole frog in boiling water scenario which was used to tell kids …. What exactly? Not to put their lap tops on their legs to prevent burns? I don’t know, but my legs are killing me, my spider bite is probably poisoning me and I’m tired from being sick the last few weeks even though I do, in fact, feel better. Good night…
PS If I die from the spider bite, tell Ben I love him. and my collection of Barbie dolls goes to Katy.
PPS I realize, once again, that it’s not funny to talk about dying when you are pregnant to others, so sorry if I offended anyone. Really. It’s just the spider bite talking now. Or the Mexican food I had for dinner. Or the exhaustion of Sum waking up 2 hours early today. Or the excitement of Texas making a come back… dare I even hope… to win the bowl game?
OK, I promise this is it. By.