“Where is Japanese?”– asks either of my kids, any time we have a Japanese student living with us. (a lot of the time phrasing questions in this manner as well IN FRONT OF THEM, ex. “does Japanese want ice cream?” “does Japanese want to go outside and play with us?” “HEY JAPANESE!…”)
“He’s sleeping right now, and remember, it’s “Yuki (pronounced ‘yuk’)– don’t call him ‘Japanese’, it’s rude. He is FROM Japan so he is Japanese, but that is not his name.”
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Ben and I have participated in the SILK program though the University of Arkansas the last few years. We really enjoy having students live with us and like how it exposes our boys to different cultures. Well, “different cultures” being just the Japanese culture as all of the students who have lived with us have been from Japan… (Other than the exception of the three days we had a student from Brazil with the Ford Fellows, who was in her 40’s and liked her coffee thick like sludge about 6 times a day. She had giant hair with beautiful braids that fascinated Bear, who was a toddler at the time.)
Our most recent student now was from a small town in Japan. He has been gone from us a few weeks now, but already he’ll stand out as the student who brought the best gift- a large, very nice bottle of Sake! ;D
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When we bought our house we had it in mind that people would live with us at some point so we found one that had an atypical floor plan- with the master and two bedrooms on one side and another bedroom and full bath on the other side of the house past the kitchen.
Originally our thought was to have a guest room for all the company that came and stayed with us but with the University of Arkanas SILK program so close, it quickly turned into an even better situation where we could host students as well.
Choosing a life lived in community is not always easy and I don’t think most people feel called to it. For us, it’s second nature. We are used to the house not being perfect, serving prepackaged cookies (when we remember to even ask if a guest wants something… most people know to help themselves) and laughing at the newbie who gets water from our fridge dispenser and makes a huge mess. (Yes, it’s funny every time.)
We have let go of the image and the ideal in order to live life in the way we feel called to.
When it’s not great is when Ben stays up too late watching movies with someone, or when I want to get something out of the drier or get my morning coffee but have to put pants on first. There are little things but on the whole now- we barely notice it.
We have felt called to live this way since we were married, but only in recent years have had the space to truly accommodate, perhaps it will change but this season is about welcoming people into our lives with open arms, perfectly accepting where they are and having no expectations. From friends staying with us, to having students live with us or having an open door policy that most people know about–> right now we are living in the (messy) space God has us in. It’s inconvenient sometimes but the peace and assurance we have that we are on the right track is there.
So often people are surprised that we do this- Let me clearly state: We aren’t perfect. We are a messy family. We fight, eat out way too much and our bathrooms are NEVER as clean as I’d like them. My kids have stinky feet, there is dirty laundry in the hall and there always seems to be a light bulb burnt out on every fixture in my house. How is that even possible? BUT- that’s what living in community is about. We still live our lives the way we normally would, there are just people around a lot of the times. We still tuck our kids into bed, read to them and play with them.
The most important thing we have learned in the community journey is that it’s not even about just opening your home and arms to others- it’s being able to let down the guard, the walls and allowing others to see you and your family for who you really are.
