-the pinched nerve you feel in your neck is actually your necklace (you aren’t used to wearing) pulling your neck hair.
-you can pee in record time knowing any delay could result in catastrophe.
-every night (or morning or whenever) when you dry yourself off after a shower with your towel you think, “man I should wash these” and you’ve been saying that for a few weeks.
-pony tail holders, wide greasy-hair covering headbands and hats are your only accessories.
-throughout the day you either: wonder if you’ve ate enough to produce enough milk for the baby or admonish yourself for excessive overeating. (Usually sugar based foods.)
-days you have shaved legs you point it out to everyone.
-you choose 60 watt or less light bulbs not because you’re environmentally friendly but because the lower light better hides all the dust and stains on the carpet.
-when a guest is coming over you light a [very strongly] scented candle and swish around the toilet with the scrubber so you can’t see the ring.
-get a little pee on ya? Mehh, just get a baby wipe, dab the pee off and continue on your day.
-during the flight of the bumblebee routine when guests are on their way over, you realize you can’t see well while cleaning because, well, the light is OFF and you were too distracted to notice at first.
-if you haven’t decided tv is a complete waste of time and money (hmmm I’m haven’t) you are secretly excited when a NCIS marathon is on.
-baby wipes clean anything.
-granola bars and carnation instant breakfast are your best friends not because they are healthy or good, but because they can be grabbed in less than 20 seconds while running out the door to the running car.
-chocolate isn’t a ‘need’, it’s essential to life.