I wasn’t going to post this because it makes me look so stupid, but I figure you may need a laugh. I laughed at myself after I read this. It is possibly one of the most stupid posts I’ve ever allowed myself to post because I’m too proud. Man, this just shows how exhausted I am! enjoy!
from the slightly deranged mind of a mommy with a very sick child who hasn’t got out this week much. be forgiving…
Poopamus: poop- uh- muss: n. or v. Having to do with messes created by fecal matter, especially noxious in fumes, usually occurring all over clothing and lower half of body. Has been reported in extreme cases from head to toe. Good to be avoided at all costs. Poopamus can be very toxic, use caution. “Summit made a poopamus.” or “Summie, are you poopamussing in your diaper?”
Fortunately, my poopamus situation was of the first variety. (lower half)
That child has had more baths this week than he ever has had in his life because of several of these situations, also including projectile vomiting that although covering most of my house, still seemed to soak him in a smelly fountain of nastiness, also know as vomitisamus- my other word of the day.
I needed out, Ben needed oil for his car. Bingo. I put on the kicking sound system in the ‘baru and we were off rocking to the sounds of Les Mis. Whattheheck Heidi?! Yes. Les Mis. Why? Because I COULD. At very loud volumes, and yes, I sang. Because I’M on my own, (not) pretending he’s beside me. I sang my problems right away and confidently walked into O’Reileys in my unstained, large sloppy tee and torn jeans with flip-flops. I’m so Arkansas. Why? Because I had no energy to look decent and it was O’Reileys for Pete’s sake.
Ben decided he then wanted ice cream from Braums. Yes! More time away from home! I listened to Britney Spears. Whattheheck Heidi?! Yes. Britney. Why? Because I COULD. At very loud volumes, and yes, I sang. Because I AM a Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer. I sang my problems right away and confidently walked into Braums in my unstained, large sloppy tee and torn jeans with flip-flops. And I was the youngest thing there by 50 years, I am like a Firecracker, I make it HOT! and I really don’t like Britney Spears lyrics or her music or even her.
My deranged mind betrayed me.
Yes. It’s been that kind of week.