The moment when you feel, “its not YOU, it’s ME,” with your church, when there are no bad feelings and nothing happened but it’s just time to move on.
Since I started working full time Monday- Friday and the boys have been in pre-school, I have felt like I haven’t got to spend enough time with them, this coupled with the fact that Ben works every Saturday until almost 5 and it seems like we never get any family time any more. It’s been hard. Every day we are rushing somewhere and since work isn’t optional, the day that got all the stress fell to Sunday. We were cranky, exhausted and our smiles were stretched thin as we tried to cram in what is most important.
The last few months of Sundays since we switched churches to attend a Saturday night service have been full of sleeping-in, fun and relaxing at home with the family. These mornings have been some of the best days I’ve had this year. A local church that I attended in high school has a Saturday night service that has fit perfectly into our new lives and we have been attending lately, which feels all sorts of weird but still very right.
I have loved my church home for the last 8 years but life has changed and now I’m changing to keep up. My heart will always be with my old church, and maybe when life gets less crazy we can go again. I just know for now we can’t.
So, for fun, here are my top 3 ways how [*cough cough* …. not] to break up with a church:
1. Don’t say anything. If you see someone you know from your old church go with, “Oh, we switched services!” Keep tithing and when friends or staff members persist in asking where you have been adamantly insist that you have been faithfully serving in the nursery or the youth. Changing the answer back and forth will trick them for quite some time.
2. Make a very public exit- ‘reply all’ to a message from the staff or think of everyone you know in the church and announce your departure in a bulk email. Give them in detail every reason you have for leaving and tell them all the things you have held in over the years. Treat it like an exit interview.
3. Stop tithing. They’ll get the picture.
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Or just do nothing other than tell a few close friends. Unless you are a part of a cult, more than likely everyone you know will be happy that you are doing good and excited that you have found a place that meets your current needs. I am a people pleaser as well as a chronic-over-sharer and it’s hard for me to move on from a place that has meant so much to me in the past without telling everyone I know all the reasons so there are no hurt feelings- and yes I see the irony here in me bloging about it. 😉 Does it feel like I’m leaving a family? Very much so, I feel a bit insecure and wonder at times if our decision is right but the peace and joy that have returned to our lives is all the answer I need.