Sherry Kettner is a dear friend of mine, she writes over at her blog, http://www.sherrykletters.blogspot.com. I love having late night talks with her over chips and salsa (and margaritas when I’m not preggers!)or just sitting in my dingy ‘ment fighting Sum’s desire to rip up her favorite bracelet. One night we started talking about maturity and I loved her perspective so much I begged her to write a blog post on it for me so I could share it. Enjoy! đ -Heidi
When I grow up I wanna…
As kids we are so excited about the idea of âwhen I grow upâ. As little ones we want to grow up so we can have a job that we want. The, âI wanna be a ballerina, firefighter, librarian, or teacherâ. The world of adulthood holds every single dream that you can possibly imagine! This is for clear reasons as a child, being big is the equaling factor that will have the freedom and ability to make those dreams come true.
Then we hit an age of about 4th to 6th grade where we are so much a little kid still but so much not at the same time. We are excited about now being in the BIG KIDS CLUB but all the while still enjoy some of the pleasures of being a kid. We are not in such a rush anymore to get big but it is still and exciting idea that we know we are heading towards something that seems so immeasurable by definition.
Then come those years of Jr. High and High School, oh those years, (take a moment to remember those years⌠now sigh⌠and moving on.) This is where we find ourselves wanting, desiring, and fighting with deep conviction, and in moments, deep stupidity which we most defiantly see as incredible reasonable wisdom at the time, to be free, to be seen as how we see ourselves, to be treated how we feel⌠grown up. We want to have the sense of finally being given the rights that we feel we have so earned by waiting so long to be considered mature. This is where we begin making statements such as, âI canât wait till I am out of hereâ, I canât wait until I can make all my own choicesâ, and my favorite, âI am 16; I am an adult I can make my own decisions.â All we want is to move on out of this place that we see as a life so burdened with restriction. And yet, all the while, in the very same moment in time, we are so deeply wrapped up in the drama and moments of this current act of this stage play called high school. (Not to be confused with High School musical. But⌠now that I think about it, take away the dancing and music, and it wasnât too different, and some days you would have thought the world around you just might break out in song and dance, but that feeling was always short lived due to the school bell that screamed reality.) We know all the info on the world around us; we have deep convictions about how Jenny from the block gave me that dirty look.
Then, sharply, we find that we are expected to make those grown up decisions that we have spent countless hours fighting with our parents to make. Then, within a very short dash of the eye the very things we thought would just hang the moon such as jobs, college, money, spouses and so on from there, arenât exactly what our, âwhen I grow upâ dreams painted for us. We find ourselves overwhelmed at times and at other moments wishing that we didnât have to make all these choices because they are hard and heavy.
What if the picture we see as being finally grown up isnât exactly all the Lord had in mind for His grown up children?
I think that so often we hit a place where we suddenly feel that we must carry ourselves in a full âgrown up mannerâ always.
We must have certain friends that act a certain way, certain things are acceptable and others are not, and the reality is that these are good things to have and to be aware of as faithful and responsible people. We begin to see this new grown up existence in a way that says this must be all of who I am now all the time. I am very guilty of this myself.
What if being âadultâ becomes our identity? What happens then? And where is the line of being an adult and being faithful and responsible and adulthood becoming the identity we hold for ourselves and desire for others to label us with as well?
With this adult label we begin to carry ourselves in a different manner with the expectation for others to also carry themselves in the same manner, because now we are all grown up and we should act grown up together. Fun drastically looks different. We only have fun with friends in certain manners, atmospheres, and crowds. We only have conversations about certain things. We no longer express the convictions in our heart simply because we have them, we express them to prove something whether it be our knowledge, our point, or our experience. The adult label is a false identity that causes us to become what we are told we need to in order to be successful and to be seen as something of value as an adult. As children our worth and affirmation from others often comes from grades, sports performances, achievements or even maturity. As adults often we begin to allow our worth and affirmation to come in the job title we hold, how we are seen as leaders, those who know how to walk as adults with great grace, and simply that we are perceived as good functioning adults by others.
Now there is always a time and place for these things and they will naturally begin to happen and in so many ways are very necessary. The word says in 1 Corinthians 13 that we are to put away childish things. But, just what if we focus so much on being mature that we forget an identity that is very very important to our walks with the one we call Savior.
As we look however, there is also an identity that we are told by Jesus to have and to hold too.
Matthew 18 Jesus expresses that we are to become like the little children. We are called to have some kind of element within us that is child like. These two calls clash in such a great way. Being called to put away childish things and being like a child seems like oil and water, how could they possibly ever mix.
I donât have a perfect solution for myself or anyone else, but perhaps, it is simply setting our identity is being Christâs little ones, not as grownups who believe and serve Jesus and are marked as Christians. Being that we have a spirit within us that desires to jump out into joy often we find ourselves having moments of uncertainty in how to act. The truth we find is that so often joy overflowing is very undignified in appearance. When do we begin to let go of and begin rebuking the fear of being just that, undignified?
We must walk in wisdom and obedience to the Lord and the convictions in which He has placed on our hearts and in our lives, but we also must not walk in fear of stepping back and being like children in our faith, love, relationships, and even moments. This will look different for everyone but will light up our lives and spirits in ways that we canât even imagine or understand. It will be an element that draws those who donât know Him in. They will see a joy that truly overflows into actions and a freedom that doesnât walk with an escort of shame or fear in not fitting the mold of adulthood that the world provides for us.
Children in so many ways are kind of nomadic in lifestyle and spirit. Truly in my life the people whom I have loved watching their lives move and shape are those who live life nomadic in a way, seeing life as a great adventure that is only going to lead to another adventure. They have been people who arenât afraid to live in a way nomadic in some capacity. Now, not everyone is cut out for that full on nomadic life most certainly. And I am not talking about an actual physical nomadic life style, although for some is bliss, but more of one of the heart and daily life. We as believers have the spirit of the Living Jesus Christ within us. Jesus was nomadic in physical life style most certainly, but he also had a spirit that was faithful, responsible, at peace and nomadic. This was not His home, and in light of this, neither He nor His spirit settled in to be comfy. He was all those things that bring and commanded authority as a grown man and yet also could relate with precious children, young men and women in the streets. Now, in having His spirit in us we also in some way can walk out in that spirit as well, we simply have to ask the Lord to show us how to do it in the lives He has set for us. This will look different for each, but available for all in some way.
Let us take the name of âADULTâ off and grab with all our might the name of children who belong to Jesus Christ the creator of life, love, joy, fun, laughter, tears, excitement, peace, knowledge, wisdom and all other things that make us who we are as His.