TODAY:
Well, yesterday I weighed myself for the first time in awhile and I was at a new low- in a GOOD WAY. A number I hadn’t seen since the first few months of pregnancy was there on the scale and I realized that I was ONE STEP CLOSER to getting to my pre-(FIRST CHILD) pregnancy weight! I guess the nice thing about gaining a lot of weight during both of your pregnancies is that the little goals you have mentally for yourself are met quicker
Even though I haven’t met my runing goals for the last few weeks, this showed me that being consistent (not perfect!) with my diet and continuing to work out still works even if mentally I don’t feel like it is.
I think that this was such a good wake up call for me. To see how I crazy I had been for a few weeks and learn from it. 
See below…
2 weeks ago…
Lately I feel like the excuse queen.
First I had a sinus infection forEVER then I had a hamstring injury which basically it felt like I had a charlie horse in my hamstring after a few minutes of running. I took a week off, but it still hurt. and repeat. again and again.
Basically I’m the worst running partner to Emily these days because there is always a painful excuses.
and I’m SO frustrated. I was on such a roll, meeting goals, running hard and now it seems like nothing is happening. My couch to 5k goals were achieved then my bridge to 10k goals have been halted by injuries and health issues. I’ve kept exercising, working out on the elliptical or classes, lifting weights, counting calories and in general ATTEMPTING to be healthy but it’s been hard.
It’s not about calories burnt, or weight lost, it’s about goals that haven’t been met. I enjoyed having a new set of goals to meet every week and the happy endorphins after each goal was met. I have worked out a lot, but it just doesn’t feel like enough.
Perhaps this is some sort of disorder. I mean, HONESTLY. I’m wondering what to think when it’s just not the same even though I’m working out intensely and consistently. I’m sill processing this, I wonder what truth is and how to get to it.
I think that I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing and keep an open mind to my flaws and coping mechanisms. I know I’m not perfect, but I don’t want to use my lack of perfection as an excuse to go down any unhealthy paths.
I need to focus on being healthy and well. Not on what the scale says or what my mental frustrations lets me believe. The truth is that I’m working out 5 days a week, eating pretty well and that needs to be enough.
I don’t think that I’m going to win every day but this is my start.