I hate the kind of people who run from one crisis to another. I mean, where is their faith? They are annoying and always seem to be complaining, needing prayer and are not much fun to be around.
I am *totally* that person. That sucks.
I’m not ready to give up my toddler. He will be three in May and I’ve known for 2 years that he’d start full-time daycare at that time and it’s for the best- etc. I thought I’d be ready emotionally. WRONG. Yesterday, the center director said that she had an opening for him and he could start MONDAY. EEEEEEEK! WHAT?! 2 months earlier than I had though? that is outrageous, crazy, and what-the-heck, I’m crying.
He can’t tell me if there is a bully. He can’t tell me if his teacher hates him. He can’t tell me about his day… I really wish that his speech therapy would kick in soon so he could communicate! Even now, as I’m typing, I can feel my blood pressure rising.
I know it’s for the best. I mean, for crying out loud, he screeches every time we leave therapy at the center because he wants to stay. When I asked him if he wanted to go to “therapy” every day, all day, he smiled and said a very clear “yes!”. Whatever, he probably didn’t really understand me… right? 
It’s just that he seems so young. He is so little. I’m not wanting outside influences other than me in his life. I am selfish and want to horde him. I don’t want to share him, he is my endorphins. How will I get by without him? What will I do for 3 months before the baby comes?
I know, I’m a total drama queen and I hate myself for it. It’s funny how irrational you can be about your children. It’s not like I’m giving him up for adoption, but I almost feel that way. Geez, it’s been an emotional 5 days, I need an emotional vacation.