Day 22: I am thankful for silence.
the click to darkening the room of the television. the hum of the fridge. the knock of the off-beat ceiling fan in my popcorn ceiling from my birth year, pressing on slowly.
the subtleness of the heat coming on, the swirling of air on the light hairs of my arm.
the sigh of air coming out of my lungs, fully exhaling for perhaps the first time today, this week,
oh the breath.
{Yawyeh}
“I can’t do it. I’m too small. You’ve called me to more than I can handle. This world is just too big.”
“My power is perfected in your weakness.”
I laid this morning in bed, an early hour with my heart beating loud and the feelings, the thorn in my flesh, pressing deeply. My comfort, my quilt, hiding beneath. I stared at the blackness above my head. I hear it again.
“My power is perfected in your weakness.”
I love it when I’m bold, an inner fire and brashness from living out my calling, stepping into my place with the confidence swagger.
Yet… I stumble… tripping over what-ifs, inadequacy, fear and doubt. The feelings.
I think of my friend, the one squinting in the sunlight who said that he was given a word for me. just one word. “Confidence. Confidence, Heidi.”
again.
“My power is perfected in your weakness.”
oh the intoxicating peace of a life lived out from purpose. oh what a heart pounding, adrenaline rushing, skin tingling place to be. oh for the drive and focus to ever stay on task, focused and eyes on the horizon.
perhaps even with hands clapped over my ears to silence out all the noise.
