As I fought back a torrent of tears earlier I realized how little I really let myself feel these days. Sure, there's the anxiety attacks that creep up and then grab me from behind like a friend yelling, "guess who?" in a cheerily delightful voice, but I drown them out speaking truth. Some times take longer than others. I have a friend who is dying from anerexia and I haven't seen her in awhile. … [Read more...]
The other day I had a doctor gently imply that I did gluten free as a way for me to control some aspect of Bear's life. I've always been very respectful of adults in positions of authority, especially highly educated ones. I am NOT a doctor and their opinion always has a certain heavy weight with it and I left the appointment confused and conflicted. I felt that way because I don't want to be … [Read more...]
We went to LR Children's Hospital yesterday for another meeting with the doctors about things regarding Summit's life and such. It was pretty boring, my extensive on-line research has pretty much edge-eh-ma-cated me on all things in that dept. so this was like a review with a Q&A session afterwords. Luckily, we had already done all the required/reccomended tests on Summit so that wasn't a part of … [Read more...]
cold, steel gray clouds cut into the soft orange sherbet of a sunset. The orange glow above the naked trees seriously looked edible. I realized right then that I hadn't ate all day. I just had coffee in the morning and 4 or 5 cheerios when I packed a snack for Summit.I look to nature for comfort when I'm upset. When Summit started screaming from the knowledge something bad was about to happen- … [Read more...]
