Do you ever have an accidental win as a parent?
My example comes after a long, hard day- after about 15 other hard ones preceding. So- basically this month has sucked BUT that is NOT what this post is about. 
Today I got a win.
Even if it was accidental.
We have been going non-stop today. It’s been hot and for some reason my all-natural deodorant has NOT been working lately and I felt stinky. Because I was. (Would this be part of the over sharing that I do that annoys Ben? I wonder…) So, we piled into the car after a long and hard day to head home 25 minutes away. It was a little bit after Bug’s bed time and within minutes he was screeching. Bear had his hands clapped over his ears and was screaming “STOP IT!” while Ben and I just sat in a defeated silence with our ears ringing.
In a tiny town we stopped to change his diaper hoping that would make our last 15 minutes a little quieter and the whole time he was being changed he was charming, adorable and overly happy. Once he saw he was getting back in his car seat, however, he arched his back and resumed the horrible, banshee-esque screeches.
Over his screaming, Ben and I talked.
Ben: “Ummm, how do we break him from THIS?”
Me: “I guess just like this, NOT getting him out because we know that is what he wants.”
(From the back seat) Bear: “BUG SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Ben: “This brattiness and determination to get his way- seriously- it has to STOP.”
Me: “Being consistent? Isn’t that what the books say?” (as I wonder how to get Ben to pull over so I can get Bug out to calm down.)
(From the back seat, screamed to Bug) Bear: “BE HAPPY! BE HAPPY! AHHHHHHH!”
As we talked, suddenly it got quiet. Ben and I looked at each other and Ben started to joke in an overly soothing voice, “GOOD Bug, GOOD! Quiet is Goooooood!” As Bug started to wind up for some more screams Ben changed it to “Baaaaad Bug, Baaaaad. Loud is Baaaad…” and he did that for another couple of seconds until Bug’s screams drown him out.
Then it was quiet for real… Ben made an untimely joke to check on Bug to see if he was still alive and in my of-course-thats-stupid-and-not-true-BUT-let-me-just-turn-around-and-check-and OK HE’S FINE! He’s alive! He’s actually awake, NOT crying and …. smiling?
What is this?
WE WON.
By a few seconds, maybe a minute. We were so close to home we weren’t going to stop for him even though *I* was about to start crying- and it worked. It WORKED! He learned that he didn’t always get his way, that we aren’t his staff and that he CAN choose to be happy even when his circumstances aren’t what he wants.
Hmmm… wait… a lesson I guess I should learn as well, coughcough…
But, just for right now, I’m just going to focus on our WIN.
Smiling.